The more that I'm alone

wanted to post pictures, but realized no point since it's all random photos and they don't mean anything.

gonna work tmr.

gonna bake more brownies and maybe cookies and cupcakes next week.

damn, i want cash.

why can't you just stay away from shit?

making things sound way too tragic.

why am i so full of morbid thoughts?!

every time i am walking on the overhead bridge,  i would try to 'avoid' the cars below so i won't get 'banged'. and then if i do by some stupid speeding car that i missed because i was stoning or something, I THINK ABOUT MY DEATH.  like how i will get banged, maybe i'll fly some distance away, and how like, if my phone's not spoilt it'll still be playing my songs. and what people will think when they see my playlist. O_O

sigh.

anyway, this is something weird you don't hear me saying every day.

 Its ends here.. says:

 dun ever let me catch u with a dick in ur mouth.

lying is your favourite passion says:

 haha, i wont let you catch me with a dick in my mouth

 

don't think dirty. we were talking about tongue studs. those dick studs. gerald is so stupid.

HEH HEH.

 

'Anyway her cuts are like deeper than yours, lol.' To that, my dear sir, I'm just going to say, 'Is that something to be proud of?'

today was such a boring day! 

woke up at 10am, stayed in bed till 1pm, woke up, kinda did my chemistry worksheet, watched tv, walked around, watched tv, walked around.

wheeeee!

alone

i feel like so alone right now.

i feel like i have no one, everyone's asleep, and i need to talk to someone. why is this so hard?

why can't i just say anything to someone and they'll forget about it in the morning or something? why isn't there someone who i can trust enough to spill my hearts out?

here i am, feeling crappy and shitty. AND I STILL HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY STUPID SISTER TALK ON HER PHONES WITH ALL HER STUPID FRIENDS.

'i think jeffrey cheating on me la...you know he don't let you see his phone but he let -some girl's name- see you know. i know...i want to break up with him..but like, i cannot bear to...'

blah blah blah, she is so full of shit! how could she even patch up with him after all he'd done to her? she is such a stupid bitch that never learns her lesson and i'm just going to let her continue going with him and when he breaks up with her AGAIN, i'm just going to say 'i told you so' right to her face and watch her cry. can't believe omeone can be so stupid. i know i wouldn't go back to some guy now. isn't that just desperate? she is such a loser, 'i just want him happy', like, HELLO?! he doesn't even care about your feelings and you still clutch onto the hope that he's still in love with you? MOVE ON, BIATCH.

urgh. i want more money so i can spend it. i should stop spending so much money.

I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED BY MY SISTER. SHE IS SO FULL OF BULLSHIT.

i need to talk to someone. urgh. fuck.

Let's spend tonight on top of the world.

my sis thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her. i don't really care anyway, haha.

should i cut bangs? like, my hair's so boring these few days. but if i get bangs they'll be long enough to cover my eyes so i don't have to see people i don't like. hehe.

i feel so fucked up these days for no reasons. maybe my mood will start getting better now since it's over. YAY.

sometimes i hate my parents for not letting me learn anything whe i was young. things like learning the piano. or whatever. like, they say they don't want to stress me out. but isn't stress like kinda a good thing? and now i feel so useless -_-

damn, i need to get my head straight. i am losing it. i used to go for every SSP even if i'm dead tired, never ever pon training unless i'm very sick. but on friday, i just pon-ed these two with the excuse i'm very tired. and went to collect my specs and to charlene's house to watch movies. sigh, whatever happened to the very good student of the past?!

i remember copying homework when i don't do them in the morning. now i just don't really care and just get the demerit. i remember being so freaked out when i don't have the proper books, or forgetting to hand in homework way past the due dates. now i kinda just, ignore it? and mind you, i still haven't hand in my chinese holiday homework which is supposed to be the scores for our first common test.

damn. i need to sort stuff out.

maybe i wouldn't go after all. who knows what will happen, i'll go if i'm in the mood i guess.

and what happened to all my comments! :C

I don't wanna love you, if love is this alone.

went to bake at charlene's today. gotta go get my specs tmr.

geraldine, i want to die too. can't really take it anymore, it's like, FUCK OFF EVERYONE, FUCK THE WORLD, FUCK OFF AND DIE and like, damn stupid.

bought pretty thing today! would've given you if it was the past, BUT YOU GET NOTHING NOW, HOHO.

this sucks. 

think i'm gonna get detention/demerit tmr since i don't have my history file yet.

gotta buy burjer tmr morning. i don't wanna see you.

bye byeeeeeeeeeee

you see me through cloudy eyes

first up, i gotta apologise to everyone who i had been pissy too.

think i'm pms-ing, so yeah. forgive me if i like, am super pissed off or something.

gotta go now, am illegally using my sis' laptop, whee~

ANGSTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

woke up in a very bad mood la, aiyo.

then everyone just made it worse, mr lim especially. like he keep talking about how our grades are dropping, but honestly, i don't know for the rest, but i am doing my best already! like, I TAKE NOTES DURING HIS CLASS while everyone dozes off okay. OKAYYYYYYYYYYYY.

and like, very angry inside, and cannot show. then after school your note* snapped me and i broke down! then like, i cry until i fell asleep -_-

hehe, then wake up i saw geraldine sitting near me! like, one table away :D idk why but that cheered me up alittle, anyway, yeah, went to gym. gym was good today! haha, lotsa lame jokes and STUPID mac-ah-fee thing. HAHAHAHAHA.

and like, nevermind, threesome-ing with dine and jun!

bye byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Veronicas - Nobody Wins

Hold your head up high
You're never wrong
Somewhere in the right you belong
You would rather fight than walk away
What a lonely way to breathe the air
What an unlovely way to say you care
Now we're too far gone for me to save
And I never thought that we'd come to this

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

Searching for the truth in your eyes
Found myself so lost don't recognize
The person now that you, you claim to be
Don't know when to stop, or where to start
You're just so caught up in who you are
Now you're far too high for me to see
I'd never thought that we'd come to this

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

You never say you're sorry
Try to tell me that you love me
But don't - it's too late to take it there

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins

(Now it's gone too far, look at where we are)

Nobody wins

you would rather fight than walk away.

waste my time.

just bodies.

have been crappy and moody these few days. is this good? i'm not getting better, maybe i should start healing myself.

not really looking forward to saturday,  but should i go? i feel bad, like, geraldine, jovon, his birthday. urgh.

i guess i'll be going, i'll stick to dine.

but, what if i go, and things turns out worse than at tanya's?

i guess i'll just put up a brave front? hmm.

or maybe i'll have some fun there, get high, watch people get drunk.

urgh, whatever, i have overdued library fines. sigh. i don't care. 

go home, get stoned

what's happening now?

URGH.

the only word to describe sec 4 life.

anyway, went ikea that day and bought two big boxes, i'm gonna keep dead bodies in them.

anyway, did something i really really regret.. and i can't do anything about it now. i hope nothing will stir up again because of that.

i don't want to check my eyesight tomorrow, some things are better blurred.

you were the one who said you wanted to be best friends okay. not me.

urgh. i am so pissed off.

today's emath paper was a breeze, but i shouldn't say more 'cause i don't wanna jinx it. chinese was crappy! urgh, i don't wanna fail anymore.

should i go out with chingmay and nisa this sunday? haha, i've got permission~ 

training is such a bitch nowadays, after every cycle it leaves me breathless and with a mouth so parched i almost die every time. but i love all the small talks in between our turns, haha!

anyway, i am very angry now. shall post some other place, bye bye!